I’m A Babyloss Mom Enamel Pin
On my first Mothers Day, I was still heavily grieving the loss of my daughter. I sat in church with my own mother and felt a huge lump in my throat as they announced the start of the Mothers Day program. My pastor asked all the mothers to stand up to be acknowledged.
I put my head down and instantly began crying.
I'd given birth, I held her, she passed a few hours later, I was mourning and she was showing up in my dreams...but I didn't "look" like a mom. I didn't have her in my arms to show to everyone. I had nothing but two photos, the outfit she was wearing when I got to spend time with her before saying goodbye and her urn.
I didn't have a living and breathing baby.
I felt empty.
As I mentally beat myself up I felt my mom nudge me.
"Stand up.", she said.
"I'm not a mom", I cried.
"You're a mother, stand up!", she demanded.
I slowly raised my head and through the tears, I could see women standing around me, with roses in their hands. I looked towards the front of the church where the Leaders - the women who had spent months praying for me, anointing me and encouraging me - were telling me to stand. I'd be crying so heavily, I hardly had the energy to stand up.
I looked to one of those women in particular who gave me a head nod, reassuring me that I needed to stand, and that I could do this.
Everyone was now looking at me, smiling at me and telling me to stand.
I finally made it to my feet and did my best to wipe my tears away as I received my rose with the rest of the mothers in the congregation.
I will never forget that day. It was powerful!
I'm tearing up again as I write this.
I created these pins for the women like me who want a outward symbol to hold on to that allow us to acknowledge our Angel Babies while letting the rest of the world know that we are not ashamed of our stories.
If you are fortunate enough to not have experienced pregnancy or infant loss yourself, this would make a great gift for a loved one. One of the hardest parts of the grieving journey is feeling as though everyone has moved on while we are still trying to make sense of our loss and put our lives back together. I'm sure it would mean the world for your friend or family member to receive these from you.
These are great to wear on a jacket, blazer, sweater or blouse during Mothers Day and beyond.